Waiting my turn in a line of about three cars, I happened to notice the person in the car behind mine. This person was on the phone. Their arms were moving about and there was clearly an exhaustive search for something going on.
I noted the difference between what was happening in my car - listening to 1970's classics on the radio and thinking I have more than enough time to get my coffee and saunter my way to church and still be early. It was quite nice, actually. On the other hand, the car behind me was all movement and action. Looking for this. Talking about this - and not just talking - talking with gusto.
I thought to myself how lucky I was versus that poor, multi-tasking soul. But then my mind moved to intent. "You know;" I thought. "I could be on the phone all urgent too. I could be looking for whatever it is. I clearly don't know where all my sh!t is at this moment either." But I'm not. And I thought to myself: "Why would I intentionally bring all that frantic into the life of someone I know well enough to be on the phone with on a Sunday morning? - Why would I want to do that someone?"
My mind went to my phone. Where was my phone? Crap. Did I leave it at home AGAIN? No. It was there. Sitting in the passenger seat, dutifully sucking power from the car and doing its best impression of a really expensive paperweight.
In that moment, I was able to articulate something that had bothered me for quite some time. I put it together that the phones have had an unintended (or, at least I assume it was unintended) effect on our society. When the phones first came out, it was 100, 200 maybe 500 minutes of talk per month. Text didn't exist. So we were frugal with our word lest we "pay overages". Now, you almost can't get an "unlimited" plan. Talking has become like eating Sunday Brunch from the buffet. We're confused by this whole "unlimited" thing. We think "unlimited" and "all you can eat" are good things. They're not. Just because you can eat or talk all you want doesn't mean you should.
This ability to talk or text any time we want has lead us to have an inflated sense of worth of what we have to say. Just because you can say something doesn't mean you should. This whole elevated sense of value of our own thoughts leads us to not really do a great job hearing what others are saying. Self-importance skyrockets at the expense of mutuality.
I don't know what the conversation was in the car behind me, but I can only imagine that it couldn't possibly have merited the gusto with which it was being carried out. Its Sunday morning and you're on line at Dunkin Donuts. Shut the hell up, turn on the radio and relax. You owe that level of maturity to whoever is on the other end of your phone.
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Teen agers and young adults will regularly thousands of text per month. The average in the US is 32 texts per day, per person with a phone.
The average US mobile phone owner talks 15 minutes per day on their mobile phone.
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