Unexpected Consequences

I have an acquaintance who is slow to ask for help.

I’m understating that purposefully for the purpose of effect. This person will never, ever ask for help and I have come to understand that not as a reflection of our relationship, but a rather consistent pattern for her.

The thing I’m realizing is that her discomfort with asking for help changes the way I deal with her. I am reluctant to ask her for help. There is this wall between us that I put up.

I realized this the other day for the first time. Why didn’t I ask her for help just then? Ah. That’s why. She doesn’t like getting help, so I suppose I just assumed that she also doesn’t like giving it. I felt a little closed off in a way I hadn’t recognized before. Its too bad.

Myself, I have average skills when it comes to asking for help. Sometimes I’m good. Sometimes I’m not. It never dawned on me how much that has to do with me and how much it has to do with the other person. It really didn’t dawn on me until just now how much it says about me to the other person. I never considered being asked for help to be a compliment, but that’s really what it is – isn’t it?