If the Bible Taught Us Anything, #1

If the Bible taught us anything, it’s that Adam got the best of Eve.

Come back with me to the Garden of Eden.  There, humans had everything they ever wanted, mostly because they hadn't learned to want stuff yet.  All they had to do was not mess it up by eating fruit from one of these two trees.  [This whole two-trees thing is clearly a setup if I’ve ever seen one, but that’s a topic for another time.]

So, the snake (also created by God, as the story goes) convinces the woman to eat the fruit, which she does and then she shares it with the man, who also eats some.  After a while, God finds them out and confronts the man, who blames the woman who in turn, blames the snake.  God punishes the snake for convincing the woman that God was lying to them about the fruit of the trees [which he apparently was, by the way if you read on a bit]. God punishes the woman - but doesn’t tell her why - by making childbirth painful.  Lastly, God punishes the man - for listening to his wife - by making work (specifically farm work) unpleasant.  [If you’re paying attention, contrary to public opinion, nobody was punished for eating the fruit.]

So, how did Adam get the best of Eve?  Simple.  It’s possible for a woman to be a farmer, but it’s not possible for a man to give birth.  It’s kind of like when you were a kid and you and your sister both got sent to your bedrooms for a time out, but one of you had a TV or a radio in your bedroom and the other one didn’t.