Thursday, August 16, 2012

Grappling with Emotional Ambiguity

Because of some position I occupy, I am aware that something quite negative is going to happen to someone.  Watching this person walk around reminds me of the movie "Dead Man Walking".

The problem is that this person is an idiot.  This person overplayed the cards that had been dealt.  This person presumed influence and failed repeatedly over long periods of time to recognize that true power is power with, not power over.  This person distributed failure indiscriminately and hoarded success for their own benefit. The injury about to brought to existence has been self-inflicted.  Sure, someone else will deliver it, but it will be after having been put into such a position.  Those now in control of this event have done their darndest to work through these self-inflicted difficulties to no avail.  There is virtually nobody of the opinion that this idiocy should be allowed to continue.

And yet, there is pain, regret and remorse.  Pain among those cornered into taking this unpleasant course.  Regret among those casually observing the self-destruction and remorse about not having done more to save the situation.

What's surprising to me in this instance is not their reaction, but mine.  I am normally the "bleeding heart" - the one too forgiving, too permissive, too flexible.  In this case, I am the one with the straight face, clear conscious and restful soul.  You may ask if others have more history with the person:  Some do, some don't.  You may ask if there are deeper relationships:  Some do, some don't.  You may ask if others have more to loose by the action:  Some do, some don't.

My only regrets are that this negative experience will not be healthy for this person and that the people closest to this, are grappling with the task.

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