Appropriately Confident

I often observe people struggling with finding a level of confidence appropriate to each situation.  Does being “right” and knowing it give you a license to monopolize a conversation?  Conversely, does being unsure of yourself necessarily mean that your place in a conversation should be in the background?

Of course, the opposite is also true.   Sometimes we feel threatened by ambiguity and defend ourselves by taking over a conversation.  Equally frustrating, we watch from a perch either out of apathy or in a scheme to take control after an interim failure has occurred as others struggle.

Either way, learning to be appropriately confident is a great skill and takes a lot of practice.  But more importantly, like playing cards, there is often a disconnect between reality and perception when it comes to whether or not you have the cards to win (whether or not your opinion will end up being the right choice).  Quite unlike playing cards, the determination of who “wins” as the result of a group decision is almost always far more difficult to discern.